I have really scary and annoying anxeity?

I worry that being too happy and having things go my way all day sometimes and in my life is a crime/sin and is not allowed. Or when things go my way so much I worry something bad will happen or it’s all a trick. Why? I don’t know. My whole life I’ve always done what I wanted until I got my anxiety, and before this I was always happy and didn’t question why or what or how. I didn’t worry about why things went my way so much at times or even being extremely happy. I don’t know where it stemmed from and why I feel that way. The scariest thing is the feeling that feels so real and I don’t understand why. If it’s not real wheres this feeling coming from? It’s almost like the little voice we all get in our heads like our conciencse. Only it’s making me feel bad like ‘you cant’ or ‘your not allowed’ or ‘you’ll be punished.’ It’s so powerful that is holding me back and paralyzing me from doing anything I want and have always done my whole life. I’ve had a pretty easy life so maybe I feel guilty or maybe it’s something else. I dunno. I know God wants us to be happy but for some reason this feeling I get of guilt mixed with a feeling that I’m not allowed/supposed to be that happy and lucky with life feels so real sometimes. When thigns go my way so much I fear catastrophe and can’t let go and when I try to let go and do the things I want anyway, its soooooo hard you can’t even imagine how hard it is to just let go and do it anyway.